


Creative Creations

by Havoklysm



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Comedy, Food, Gen, Silly banter, experimental cooking, is it a malboro tentacle or a green bean?, or at least noctis and prompto think it's experimental
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22344982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Havoklysm/pseuds/Havoklysm
Summary: Ignis made them dinner, but this time it came out . . . different. Noctis and Prompto muse about what their food might actually be made of.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Creative Creations

“What  _ is _ that?”

“Death on a plate.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, Noct. I’m sure it won’t  _ kill _ us. I mean,  _ Ignis _ cooked it, and he usually cooks some really good stuff! Besides, he wouldn’t try to kill us with food, would he?” Prompto didn’t seem convinced by his own words, but that didn’t stop him from trying to think positively. “It does look pretty death-like though. But it smells  _ amazing _ .”

Noctis, however, wasn’t buying any of it. “He tries to force me to eat vegetables, so I highly suspect him of trying to kill me with food.” 

“I’ll give you one hundred gil if you take a bite.” 

Noctis’ head whipped up from where he stared at the plate of ominous, dark goo to give his friend an expression of betrayal. “Ew, no way.”

Prompto laughed. “How about two hundred?”

“I’m pretty sure I see some green beans in there. That’s a vegetable. No way am I touching this, Prom.”

The blond furrowed his brows and leaned his nose closer to his own plate of gelatinous ‘food.’ Upon closer inspection, he came to a realization. “Actually, I think those might be tentacles.” 

Noctis had no words. He blinked at his friend, then cast his gaze downward to stare at the mystery on his plate. There  _ were _ long, skinny, green things that could be a green bean or a tentacle. He was afraid to know which was the truth.

“We did hunt a few Malboros the other day, and I wouldn’t hold it past Ignis to utilize some parts of those nasty things for his experimental cooking.” Prompto picked up his fork and dared poke into the offending dish, pulling a face when both boys were convinced they heard a hideous  _ squelch _ come from it as it jiggled in place. Did the fork even penetrate the outer layer? Neither of them could tell. 

“This is certainly one of Ignis’ more creative 'creations' that he’s forced us to endure.” Noctis rolled his eyes and leaned back in the booth, crossing his arms. “Though I hope he hasn’t gone as far as  _ that _ to utilizing some of the weird ingredients we pick up.”

They were staying in the trailer at Hammerhead near the diner for the night. Ignis had cooked them dinner and vanished outside with Gladio to eat while Prompto and Noctis stayed inside at the tiny table, a miniature version of a diner booth, and were left to their own devices with the questionable meal they were supposed to consume. 

“Creative ‘creations’ is an understatement I think. I wouldn’t feed this to my worst enemy.” 

“I bet Gladio has himself a cup of his noodle shit he loves so much, and Ignis probably, I don’t know, has--”

“Zu skewers.” 

Noctis raised an eyebrow. “Zu skewers?”

“Yeah. I bet he cooked himself up a whole batch and he’s eating those up while we sit here and suffer. I think I’m being punished for something I don’t even know I did.” 

“You probably took an unflattering picture of him.”

“Hey!” An accusing finger pointed toward the prince. “I only take the  _ most _ flattering of pictures!”

Noctis rolled his eyes. “I beg to differ.” 

“Just because you--”

“Noct? Prompto?” Ignis’ voice wafted to greet them, his face appearing in the doorway of the trailer a moment after and earning the attention of both boys. “Did you finish your dinner yet?”

“You mean, did we finish our murder meal yet? No. We did not.” Noctis rolled his eyes. 

“Murder meal?” Ignis’ brows furrowed as he entered the space, standing beside the table and peering down at the two untouched bowls. In his hands were his own bowl and Gladio’s, remnants of the black goo sticking to the surface of both. It appeared this dish  _ was _ edible after all, but the prince still didn’t trust it.

“We couldn’t do it, Iggy. It looks so gross. Smells okay though. What did you even put together to make it  _ black and gooey _ ?” Prompto wore a deep frown. The blond didn’t normally complain about the man’s cooking, and he often ate whatever Ignis put before him, but this was a step too far. 

“It’s not black,” Ignis rolled his eyes, turning and placing the dishes in the sink before facing the two boys. “A few of the spices I used turned it a bit darker than usual, but it’s King’s Stew. You’ve eaten this before.”

“Oh! So those  _ are _ green beans and  _ not _ tentacles after all!” Prompto laughed, braving the strange concoction and stabbing one of the chunks with his fork. 

“Tentacles?” Ignis blinked. “What on Eos have you two been scheming about in here?” 

“We thought you cooked up some Malboro and were trying to kill us.” Prompto brought the chunk to his mouth and stuck his tongue out to taste the flavor before he stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. After a moment of thoughtful chewing, those blue eyes lit up. “It  _ is _ King’s Stew!”

Noctis shook his head. “It looks gelatinous though.”

“Well, there was supposed to be Behemoth tenderloin in there, but I’m afraid we didn’t have any. I had to substitute with another meat. It might have affected the look of it a little more than I anticipated, but you two took it a step too far with your musings. I’m not sure if Malboro are even edible.”

“I do not want to find out if they are or not.” Noctis made a nauseated face. 

“Just eat up. We have an early day tomorrow.” Ignis left with a tired sigh, leaving Prompto and Noctis back to their bowls of now familiar food. 

Prompto was already halfway done with his by the time Noctis worked up the courage to try it, and it seemed his friends were right--the food  _ was _ King’s Stew. It just didn’t look as tasty as normal. 

With a heavy breath, the prince dug in slowly, being sure to avoid the green beans that he still couldn’t shake the thought of being tentacles. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a silly story I've had sitting around for a while. I'm happy to have it finally finished!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it, and thank you for reading!


End file.
